I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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