I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
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Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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