Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
