Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(530): View more from California

smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers

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(630): View more from Illinois

You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.

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(765): View more from Indiana

is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?

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(248): View more from Michigan

I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer

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(914): View more from New York

Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea

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(940): View more from Texas

I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.

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(480): View more from Arizona

Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.

(308): View more from Nebraska

The strangest confirmation message ever sent.

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