Is it normal to miss your booty call?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
