My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
