this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
