I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
