you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
