This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
