I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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