just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
