Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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