In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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