With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
