I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
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Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
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What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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