I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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