Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
