I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
