Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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