My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
