The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
My cat gives me a boner
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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