So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Randomize
