If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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