fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
