i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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