Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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