so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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