I seem to have left my pride at pride
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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