Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
