I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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