Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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