i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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