And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
