i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
