Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
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I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
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I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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