Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
