five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
