I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
