i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize