cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Fuck appropriateness.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
