Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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