You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
