I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
