If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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