I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
