Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
