I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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