Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
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