Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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