who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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