I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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