Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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