dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
