Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
