Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
