Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
