They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
At least life still wants to fuck me.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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