I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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