what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
