As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Randomize
