Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
