why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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