no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
