We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
