anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
