It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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