Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize