i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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