: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
