You're so nebulous sometimes
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
