Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
