She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
