you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
