dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
