Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
