so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
