I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
