this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize